The thread that holds us together...

Constructing thought...

Just a day or so after my Bema's funeral I was finally able to start putting my thoughts into more complete sentences instead of fragments of emotions and memories. Sitting in a quiet room, I wrote them on scrap paper just as quickly as I could, all too often my words come faster than my fingers can write...

The laughter and tastes of home...

Laughter.... loud, boisterous, contagious, deep down, soul warming, side aching laughter... This is what my mind is consumed with as I think of my earliest memories of my Donell family. Big hugs— long hugs, eagerly greeting us after a long drive. As each family member would arrive the joyous greetings would start all over. Finally, when the last family would pull into the driveway our hearts would be full, overflowing. Everyone was home!

The smells!! Oh the smells that came from Bema and Papaws kitchen!! My first taste of homemade peanut butter cookies, smoked brisket, fresh bass fried to golden perfect, and mouth watering rolls with butter dripping all over my fingers. Plus hearty garden vegetables that modern day crunchy granola moms dream of! These memories are so real in my mind, I can feel the hugs, smell the food, and hear the laughter rolling.

The stories...

Stories begin to come, stories of playful, rough and tumble children now my grown up parents, aunts, uncles. Stories of family members long gone but who shaped our family traditions. In my mind I see all these stories vivid and alive, much like the Faith Ringgold quilts I learned about in college, stitched together with a bright red cord, a single thread connecting them all. Holding the legacy of my family together, like the tiny stitching on my mom and dad's double wedding quilt that covered their bed my whole childhood.

Quilting...

Quilting is so incredibly fascinating if you stop to think about it. You can make a blanket but without the quilting stitches it will quickly lose its ability to keep you warm, therefore losing its whole purpose. You see without the tiny stitches, the batting, the part that warms, that gives softness and comfort, loses its shape, separating into clumps of fluff. Lumpy, scattered, and unable to keep anyone warm or comfortable. But when someone take the time, effort, struggle, and compassion to sew each tiny stitch the quilt can give not only warmth, but comfort as its softness is wrapped around you. It can also delight our hearts with the beautiful pattern it creates— leaving us in amazed at the beauty of it all.

Alone or separate the tiny quilt stitches cannot hold together the layers but when thousands of these tiny stitches are all in place they keep every part of the quilt connected to the rest. Perfectly placed, giving warmth, comfort, and beauty for years to come. Giving generations of family members a sense of awe and even something a tiny bit miraculous.

Quilting family...

What does all this have to do with my Bema, my family, my life right now? As I am sitting here thinking about all this I see my Bema as not a quilter of quilts (she was more of a little girl dress designer, remember those ruffled little dresses we all wore in the 80's with the bell in the underskirt? She designed them.)  No, she was a quilter of family. She painstakingly quilted God's truth, grace, kindness, beauty, and God's love into each life she came into relationship with. She did it without even looking like she was working!! She did it in the quietness of her voice, the joy in her smile, her love for my Papaw (and Grandpa Pat). In the hundreds (more like thousands) of sports and 4-H activities she attended to cheer on all her kids, grandkids, and all their friends! This is where I am, I am seeking to quilt my own family legacy quilt into my own children's hearts. To create a work of art more beautiful than any tangible painting. Where am I starting?

"as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:21b-24

Putting away my old habits of taking things into my control and filling my time with temporal things. Recently, our pastor shared about being challenged by an 89 year pastor at a conference, he said "there were two things I regret 1. Spending more time in prayer. 2. Memorizing more scripture." This was a timely reminder to me of my own challenges I felt after our move. I have more time than ever to give to the Lord and I have definitely done better but I just feel the Holy Spirit saying "more, more time in prayer Sarah, more time in my word, more time memorizing all the promises I have for you! This is how I will sustain you through all these times of feeling lost and not sure of where you belong." This is how I am learning to quilt my family legacy.

Using the right thread...

What made it all work? Why did her love make such an impact on so many? Why did the legacy of my Donell family impact my life so greatly? Certainly not because they were all perfect, we have ugly family sin and brokenness just like anyone. The difference wasn't in the people or anything they could do of their own ability and strength. The difference came because they always came back to the same truth— the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It wasn't that my Bema and Papaw were super grandparents (although I will always think of them as such) it was because they were quilting with the right thread, a blood stained cord of three strands. The cord that will not be easily broken because it is made by the most high triune God. Sometimes they tired to pick up a different thread, one made of cheap manmade materials but what makes them super heroes of my faith is that after they recognized their mistake they always ran back to the cross to start again.

Many people try to create this family legacy quilt. In their own strength, with their own ideas, resources, with great effort but no sooner are started than the quilt just falls apart. Leaving a disaster so overwhelming our human hearts think there is no way it can be mended. Too late they realize they were using the wrong thread or even no thread at all! They stitched every single stitch without threading the needle to begin with... oh how sad and wasted are these lives.

Start quilting...

There is still hope!! If you have been trying to hold your life, your family, or very existence together with temporary threads of feelings and emotions this hope called the Gospel is available TODAY! The truth you need to change your life and the legacy you leave is very real, very life changing, and available to ANYONE that seeks it!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God." John 3:16-18

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways. So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life. So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it. Proverbs 2