Paths

Path - a word I have read so many times throughout scripture. Recently I have been drawn to this word. I see it everywhere! In my quiet time, in my sweet mother-in-laws shared Facebook devotional, in my summer reading text. All pointing me to questions about my path. Recently my path has taken a hairpin turn and even though I took it eagerly and in faith I am still not sure where it is taking me.




July 1st marks a significant change for me. To some people it probably is not a big deal, to some it would probably seem scary, if I am honest its a big ball of emotions for me all tangled in 35 years of God's truth hidden in my heart. That truth is the only thing holding me together most days, otherwise that big ball of emotions would unravel into a mess that makes me cringe. The kind of cringe I felt when I came across a box of neckless', that in a moment of weariness during our move a couple months ago I threw in a box, that are so tangled and matted it will take hours of tedious work to get them loosed. I stair are that box trying to determine if the necklaces are worth my time.




Anyway, back to July 1st, this day marks "officially" no longer being employed as teacher in my "dream" classroom. Even now as I type it I am just in awe at the words. I truly cannot put in to words how I feel. I am not broken-hearted or angry that God's plan for me included giving this job up, confused- yes, sad- yes, curious- yes, scared- yes, excited- yes... See it's just layer after layer of feelings. So what now? I wish I could say a new dream job just landed in my lap that it has just been a seamless transition! In some ways yes, I have been fully wife and fully mom this summer, no professional development, no trainings and no meetings with potential business partners. Suddenly my days became so clear they resemble scotch tape, its a very strange feeling. I find myself very conscious of how I am spending my time. It would be very easy to waste this time (I know this because I have), to miss the opportunities I have just being a wife and mom with nothing and no one else pulling me. The faith in Christ part of me wants this time in my life to move slow because I know God has treasures of opportunity He wants me to have but the impatient selfishness in me wants to crane my neck to see whats around the next corner. Missing all the beauty of this moment.



The last couple of weeks I have found my quiet time readings repeating themselves with a similar idea. I know thats not coincidence. I know that is God leading me towards the "green pastures" and the "still waters." The reoccurring word path or paths keeps coming up. The career/tech teacher in me immediately began thinking how these ideas applied to my high school students as they stair down the path of their life, however all the thoughts of how I could use these verses and ideas to help my students suddenly hit a brick wall. I realized these lessons about paths was not for them they were for ME! I needed to be taught these things; that as much as I think I want to see my whole life path laid out before me, I really don't!



I use to play a game with my students called "Landmines." Essentially I would tape off a long rectangle then throw a bunch of random things in it. Yarn, feathers, balls, Legos, old happy meal toys... I pretty much cleaned out the bottom of my kids toy box, the back seat of my car and voila everything you need to play the game. Anyway, I would place one student at one end of this mess and all the other students at the other end blind folded. The goal was for the student that was not blind folded to get all their classmates through the "landmines" alive (not touching any of the random junk on the floor). The students that was not blind folded could not touch the others students or even come down next to them. They had to stay on the far end giving verbal instructions only. This game was always a huge hit, my favorite part was when we were done, I would always ask "what in the world did that have to do with life?" Slowly they would begin processing it... The person who could see everything was a more experienced person in their life, not a peer, but an adult who has already been through the mine. Sometimes this "older wiser" person got frustrated because their instructions were not being followed or the student listening would get confused causing them to misstep and they would have to go back and start again. I hope you are getting that this conversation would go on and on about all the ways this game represents our own life. The thing I always tried to get my students to understand is that you will never be able to see your whole life path, no matter how much we think we want to see around the next corner or over the next hill we can't. Honestly, if we could see our whole life path, the good and the bad, laid out before us would we take it? Or would we stand frozen, overwhelmed by the trials that lay ahead? Yes, I believe I would, I would crumble and cry out "God it's too much! This is not the path I can take."



God knows what each day holds for me, what each section of my path will entail: rocks, boulders, smooth soft sand, green grass, high rough waves, giant cliffs, exhilarating heights, depths I never knew existed... He knows that if I could see all these things before me I would not just quit, I would turn and run away out of fear. I would give up the race before I even start! So what a blessing it is to have a very limited view of my life path, not that I feel blind folded and certainly I do not feel alone. God is so good! He is not standing at the end like in the game, that would be all the wise people he has placed in my life, the ones who are saying "trust", "have faith", "believe God and take Him at His Word." No God is right with me, saying "put your foot in my footprint, I know the path well, I laid it out when I died on the cross for you. It will be hard but I will lift you up, hold your hand and carry you through it all." My dad use to tell stories about going hunting with my Papaw when he was a little boy. The ground was covered in leaves and sticks, sometimes snow, still dark outside and the path, for a young boy, felt uncertain. My dad says Papaw would say something like this "you step in my bootprints and the path will be clear, your footsteps will be quieter as to not scare off the deer, and you will know where to go." Dad says he can remember being so amazing at how BIG my Papaws bootprints were and how small his were. Removing any doubt or fear of where to step because those large bootprints could not be missed! Don't you know that the cross prints Christ has paid for us are like that?! What does Christ ask of me in return for laying this path? Nothing except to follow him... that is all. Oh Jesus! I don't deserve your mercy! Why do I doubt your wisdom? Why do I work so hard to see the next path when I have not yet fully taken in the breathtaking views of this one? Merriam-Webster defines path as : a track specially constructed for a particular use. My path has been carefully constructed by my Savior long before I was born. Intersecting with the paths of others in order that my life would show His glory, not my accomplishments but that I could testify of HIS greatness! I know that he is leading me And this path leads to eternity with Him, where he will wipe away all my tears pull me to myself and say your race is finished! You are home. Rest in me. Until then I want to follow! FOLLOW! While I may not understand this path, my simple mind does understand that to get to my next path I must stay on this one, I cannot skip this one and expect to be ready for the next one. I cannot skip every other chapter in a book and expect understand it when I get to the end. So today I am walking in a path I cannot see, holding tightly to the truth God has placed in my hand, following in the footsteps of my father.

Psalm 1 (ESV)

Blessed is the man

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,

but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;

for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish.

Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

  

Psalm 119:105 (ESV)

 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Isaiah 42:16 (ESV)

And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know,

in paths that they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I do,

and I do not forsake them. 

Psalm 23  (ESV)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.